An exercise in Self Love.

Every now and then I call out to all the cells in my body. I sing out to the trillions of cells housed within my body, keeping me alive, and I speak to them. You might think I’m a little crazy but it’s a wild concept to think about. We’re not an individual unit, a single. We’re a collective. And we seem to sit at the top over looking yet not seeing what’s really going on.

What do I say to them? You might ask. 

I tell them I love them. I tell them they’re doing a good job and I thank them. I even picture all these little round cells pausing and looking up at me, and then smiling. They like to be appreciated. For many years they were picked on, abused, told they weren’t good enough, that they were ugly and fat. And that wasn’t from other people, that was from the mind at the top of the tower.

For many years I never knew. I never thought about them. How hard they were working even under the rule of a tyrant. But now, as I recognise myself as a collective, as a team, I give them what I always wanted.

Love. Attention. Kindness. Encouragement. Acceptance.

Isn’t that what we all want?

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Yet so often, we can’t even give that to ourselves. We strive hard to get it from other people yet it always falls short. It never satisfies and we mostly don’t believe it anyway cause it doesn’t match up to our own secret thoughts about ourselves.

But the gold at the end of the rainbow is in knowing we can do it for ourselves. We can stop everything right in this moment and say; I love you, thank you. We can ignite a vibrational shift within our being, into one that is more pleasant to inhabit. But we’ve got to stop thinking it’s out there. We’ve got to stop seeking external gratification, praise and validation, and seek the internal gold.

Or as my wise fellow blogger said; our inner sunshine.

And if you think you don’t know how, or it’s not important I beg to differ. Our ability to love ourselves defines our capacity to give and receive love to others. And if you can’t love yourself or others, and you can’t receive love, then I ask you; what is your purpose for life?

For me it’s all about love. It’s learning how to connect in and be with yourself, and to connect with other people. It’s all a big lesson in thinking we’re separate, and then discovering how to come back to the whole. Discovering we’re One.

And I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying it’s important. It’s worthy of our thoughts, attention, focus and effort. It’s worthy enough to ask for help from others, to discuss with friends, to read books about. It’s a truly worthy cause because the cause is you. It’s all of us. And I know we can do it.

I know we can turn our inner hell of judgement, fear and criticism into our own sacred sanctuary, one to be cherished and relished and adored. One we delight in inhabiting, and sink into it’s welcoming company when all goes quiet around us.

By Sharon Cavill

 

 

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Inner Demons

I’m a writer.

The journey to realising that and being able to write it down has been tough. And I can see I always have been – a writer that is. I have piles of journals dating back to when I was little. Always penning it down. My thoughts, my dreams, my fears. But I never counted that as writing when judgement set in.

Somewhere along the way I deemed myself not good. Not good at writing. A bad writer. Not good enough to put pen to paper, finger to key.

And in doing so I expunged the creative flame within.

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Let The Inner Demon Out by Haze-d

It’s been almost a year, and after a long dark night of the soul I’ve unleashed it once more. Determined to grow it to be louder and stronger than the voice within that tells me I can’t.

Oh that voice that’s always there, I can’t do it. Not enough. Not good enough. 

I’ll be laughed at. 

Thoughts and more thoughts.

LOUD THOUGHTS!

But they weren’t there when all was lost. Those imaginary people that ridicule… Even they disappeared when I gave it all away. Because I’d safe guarded myself, given up all that was dear and all that possibly could make me vulnerable.

In desperate days of disillusion there was not much left to criticise, just me, laying paralysed without an inkling of creative energy left. But safe – or so I thought.

Yet I remained. A shell of myself, but me none-the-less.

So, I surmised, if I am all that remains, then it must be up to me. Only me. For me to release it all and let the flame soar once more. Daring to be a little higher than before. Not giving a shit at those who ridicule and throw stones, real or imaginary.

The voice is still within but I choose not to listen. Or partially listen but not care. Or not care so much. Whichever is true in the moment.

So I’m gleefully back, weary from the fight yet happy in the realisation that I was worth fighting for. And that I finally realised I was worth fighting for.

 

 

 

The night I met me.

Last night in meditation I was bestowed a missing link I’d been overlooking in my healing journey to self love.

The setting was a tranquil lagoon in which I was guided to witness something significant from my recent past. As I gazed down into the water I saw myself rising upward. Yep me, appearing exactly as I do today, however I viewed myself from a different perspective. It was from the eyes of others, and I felt the urge to meet myself and hang out with myself just like you would a new friend.

Realisation after realisation poured through me and I was offered the understanding that loving yourself has an undercurrent that can often be overlooked. The missing facet being that you might love yourself but not necessarily like yourself. For example; you can love members of your family but not want to spend every living moment with them, or similarly a friend that you only enjoy seeing now and again but you love dearly.

The meeting of myself was about liking myself. And I mean really liking myself. self-love-acceptance-awakening-healing-heal-how to, relationships

It was uncharted territory where I befriended myself. I saw who I was as a friend and I liked her.

We hung out and met on so many levels – probably because she is me. But it was like meeting my ultimate soulmate; we enjoyed all the same things!

I saw us hanging out together in my house. I saw us at the beach. I saw us laughing and getting each others jokes. A lot of time passed in an enlightening and blissful meditative trance where time held no meaning, and it was as though I’d been reunitied with my long lost best friend.

And I really, really liked her!

And that was the main realisation, I’d been working on self love for some time now, but forgot about self like. I’d forgotten to like myself in each moment and remember that I want to hang out with me and I enjoy being around me.

If you’ve read this far, then it might be time to ask yourself honestly – if you like you. Do you feel the same about yourself, just like you would a best friend that you can’t see enough of, or your partner whom you adore and always want to be around?

If the answer is no, don’t despair. You’re on the path to healing because you’re beginning to understand where you stand right now. Ask the angels or your spirit guide for assistance, request that they show you how loved you really are. And then ask them to help you discover how to befriend you.

Because when it comes down to it, you’re the one you spend literally all of your time with.

With love,

Sharon

 

 

 

Heal Your Body Issues

 

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I had an interesting experience of realisation in the bath yesterday. Yes I know…The bath 🙂 I’ve put on a few kg’s recently and as I looked at my belly and legs it would have been easy to slip into old habits of abusive thoughts – so fat, gross, disgusting.

But instead I looked at all my jiggly parts and told each of them how much I loved them.  I repeated it over and over again. And as I did this, I started to see my body in a completely different light.

I saw it as strong. I saw the extra weight as a reflection of my increased trust in awakening and revealing my personal power to the world. I felt proud of my body and my strength as a woman.

Then I had a glimpse of a possible future for myself and all sisters around the globe. I saw what is viewed in societal eyes as attractive in a woman changing from slim, to bigger. I know we like to think that we’re there already, but c’mon, we’re not. There’s still so much media influence on what’s attractive and for years now – it’s been the slim and slender female figure that’s been projected as alluring. To the point that most women are disgusted by their bodies and view them as anything other than alluring.

Yet I could see it going hand in hand, with the rise of the feminine, comes the rise of women expressing their divine power to the world. It comes the total love and admiration of our bodies – by us! Wholly embracing our lustrous curves and soft centres.

And then the echo occurs. We’ve allowed this picture to be perpetuated and we’ve certainly played our part in taking that further. We don’t need to be worried about others berating our bodies because we’ve already been doing it. But I say, that’s enough! Now is the time to ride the wave of change and it starts with our own secret views of ourselves. That’s where the true change starts. That’s where your power lies.

I see a future where women want their bodies to reflect their inner strength, where they no longer want to play a submissive role in order to be accepted as female or let a man feel manly. And it’s through this avenue of powerful love that all will follow suit, but it’s up to us to lead the way.

Let’s stop getting angry at the magazines that portray unrealistic figures and start getting fed up and fired up at how we demand these unrealistic, made up ideals onto ourselves.

And we do it all the time! Walking past a window, glancing over to check your reflection, oh I’m disgusting, I’m so fat, I’m so ugly. That’s where the real atrocity lies! That we do it to ourselves! It’s not them, it’s been us for years. And I’ve had enough.

I’m embracing all the wonders of my form and I challenge you to do the same.

Enough is enough.

By Sharon Cavill

 

 

 

 

 

Something gone astray

healing-love-poetry-poem-spiritual-awakening-spiritual-awakening-wake-up-self-love-relationships.How do we forget so easily

a love that is for us?

We remember what we need to do

and say and be and get.

Yet loving us seems too far fetched,

or hard or something bad.

But it isn’t til we’ve gone astray

and become desperate in our days,

that love finds our heart decayed

believed void of any light.

Yet it’s been dimmed due to neglect,

and years spent shunned in shame,

still never let your mind tell you

that it’s too late for love to show.

For it’s love within that knows

it’s been there all along.

And now it’s time to take a hand

and follow down the path,

for where this track leads you to

is bliss bursting from within.

By Sharon Cavill

 

 

 

After many years, I finally said I’m sorry.

Last night as I walked up my street I noticed I could feel the muscles in my legs with each step. As I paid attention I felt as though it was my body was calling out to me, and due to my calm state, I’d heard it’s call.

And what I experienced next was a sort of homecoming.

In a flash I remembered all of the years of abuse – verbal abuse – I’d spewed forth directed at my body. Years of hating it, standing in front of the mirror disgusted. Waves of negative energy poured into it, without reprieve, and from me no less.

These days the concept sounds absurd, however I did it for so long that the experiences are etched into my brain. I’ve done a lot of work on learning to accept myself, and some time after that I actually started to love myself. All of myself.

And these days I can even place my hands on my soft belly, and feel warmth and love.

And as I continued walking along the street, deeply aware of my body and our colourful past, I felt compelled to take our reconciliation further.

That’s when I started to say; I’m sorry. From the depths of my heart, I’m sorry. Over and over again.

And almost in the same breath, I heard myself saying I forgive you. Thank you. I forgive you. I love you.

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I was seeing my beautiful body for the wonderful vessel that it was. I saw my body as a wonderous creature who’d been assigned the task of housing my Spirit, to embark on this journey together.

I felt the insanity of hating on it for all of those years. 

It’s fascinating what compels us to writhe in such hate. And I’m not only referring to our ability to hate ourselves, it’s our ability to hate strangers, people, just anyone and anything can get us worked up to rage.

And we all seem to condone it. We attack haters with more hate and feel justified in doing so.

It makes me wonder, what will it take for us to respond to hate with love? 

Cos’ it seems to me that all of the hating isn’t getting us anywhere, and someone has to go first.

There is a well of love inside each of us, yet we cover it up with thick layers of hate. And any time we dip into our hate-layers, we strengthen them. It doesn’t matter where or to whom our anger is directed, we strengthen it.

Well I’m no longer strengthening mine, ever… For anyone.

It was through that beautiful experience of finally apologising for the years of abuse and being forgiven that I’ve been able to reach new depths of love and self-acceptance. It’s as though part of me was waiting for this day, and I finally showed up for it.

Do you have someone you need to say I’m sorry to?

I love you.

Sharon

“It is a radical act of love to befriend yourself.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

The Most Powerful Method To Love Yourself

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How do you feel about yourself most of the time? Do you encourage and support yourself? Or are you the first to tell yourself that you’re stupid, or hopeless, or that no-one likes you, or you can’t do anything?

And if you’re the latter – which most people are – it’s okay. That’s all a learned behaviour and it can be unlearned.

It’s just that something happened in our past where we made a decision that we weren’t good enough, or that we were unlovable, or don’t deserve to be loved.

Just because you think these things doesn’t make them true.

And when life gets tough, it’s out limiting thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that rear their ugly head and bring us down.

And that’s why I’m writing this, because you can turn it around. We all can. And it starts with observing our relationship with love.

Do you get frustrated and annoyed with people? Do you find it easy to hate?

Then how can you really expect to be able to love yourself when you’re constantly practicing the opposite?

That’s when it’s time to call in the love!

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And it’s actually easier than you might think to start loving yourself, but the key is to learn to love more in general.

You learn how to do that then it’ll be easy to direct some of that love towards yourself. And once that channel of love is created, more and more will flow through it until one day you’ll forget that self love and self doubt was ever a problem for you.

Sound nice?

Let’s start with the first realisation.

Love is a skill, it’s something that can be improved upon, grown, expanded, and strengthened. Especially when it comes to loving ourselves. The key to learning how to love yourself is in learning how to love, and that means learning how to love anything and everything.

Love the chair that you sit upon.

Love your computer.

Go outside and find things you can love out there.

Love the trees. Love each tree.

Love the grass, love every blade of grass.

Grow love. Practice love.

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Take 1 minute now to list 10 things you love right now. Start small and simple. We know you love your family, your partner, your kids. But this is an exercise to start loving everything (and in turn loving yourself), so start with other things.

Practice loving things you might not normally associate love with.

Love indiscriminately.

Grow Love. Practice Love.

Don’t get to yourself yet, just start with this simple exercise for a few days and see what comes up.

Is it hard? Is it easy?

How do you feel when you do it?

 

Have fun love-generating souls,

until we meet again,

Sharon

 

Wisdom to stop those Sugary-Binges

acceptance, love, binge eating, weightloss, how to lose weight, best, how toRecently I’ve been on a binge of sweet treats. The bait is chocolate, choc-chip cookies, cake….well basically if it has sugar and cocoa in it I’m hooked.

I’ve experienced an interesting although not uncommon journey with sweet foods and food in general. Years ago I placed a great deal of emphasis on body image. I wanted above all to be skinny so I deprived myself of so many different kinds of foods. I remember sprouting on and on about how much I hated butter, which was never actually true but it seemed to get me attention (which I liked…even though I pretended I didn’t) and get me out of eating anything with butter in it, which (god forbid) might be fattening…

Healing and therapy work helped me to gain a deeper understanding about myself and the universe, and through further discovery I’ve mostly healed this part of myself. Through this healing and acceptance, I’ve been able to eat without feeling guilty afterwards, and choose what I actually want to eat and not just what would have the least calories or be easiest to burn off. I’ve actually discovered how to love my gorgeous body, tummy, thighs and all! However from time to time I’d find myself binge eating. And not just binge eating anything, I’d developed a strong inclination toward sweet foods.

A year or so ago another shift occurred amidst a chocolatey-binge session. I was knee deep in a block of Whittaker’s chocolate when I started to honestly question what was really going on. A part of me told myself that it was harmless and okay, however there was another part of me that was still curious as to why I was fairly balanced with my eating habits, except for the odd occasion in which I’d uncontrollably fly off the handle and wind up acting like a choc-crack addict needing hit after hit after hit.

I reflected on myself and my habits for sometime however I didn’t feel as though I was having any blinding ah-har moments. But I kept at it, sitting in gentle curiousity of myself without allowing in any guilt or critical thoughts. I was set on understanding myself with compassion and acceptance. And it was through this gentle and kind enquiry that I learned something new. I was lead to go deeper into meditation and consult my higher wisdom for the insight I desired.

Deep breathing and meditation helped me to get past the pesky thoughts which were popping up and crowding my mind, and I used visualisation to set off on a journey to a meeting place. At that time I was working with my meeting place being in a beautiful garden sitting under a tree. I waited there in my mind and called in a Being or Guide to help me with this issue.

I felt a shudder rush up my spine and then straight back down again, then goose bumps formed down my right leg. I felt the angel Archangel Michael whom I work with a lot, come to me and so I mentally said hello. Hello dear child I heard back. I thanked Archangel Michael for coming then I began to ask him questions about my eating habits.

Why do I continually have bouts of binge eating chocolates and sweets which I can’t seem to control? What do I get from eating sweet food?

Almost immediately I received a profound and insightful response.

You tell yourself you love you through sweet foods.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. All the years of punishing myself and telling myself I was worthless through depriving myself of foods, now I was playing out a misguided paradox.

It also made sense why these urges would come and go. I could see why sometimes it was relatively easy to be mostly sugar-free but then why I would have periods where I would crack and eat chocolates everyday for a few days or even a week. It was these times I needed love.

When I felt the strongest urges for a binge on sweet foods these were the times I needed to pause and accept and love myself. So conversely when I needed to hear I love you and I wasn’t giving that to myself I would turn to the sweet stuff.

I thanked Archangel Michael and felt I knew what I had to do. Anytime I craved sweet foods I could know that what I really needed was love and work to give that to myself.

So as I go through this phase once more I have remembered the understanding I gained about myself and my needs. I need some self love. When I pause and focus on what I really need it seems clear that through the last week or so I have felt uncomfortable and have been feeling a lot of pressure as my partner and I move house. It is times of change or upheival that I (and most of us) extra self-love is required.

Already I feel the cravings dissipate and a deeper more sturdy warmth holding me instead. I will encourage more self-love through some deep breathing, a good selfie-hug and a meditation to connect back into my soul love energy within -which is sweeter than any chocolate every could be 🙂

Do you have habits which you feel as though you can’t control? What could they be telling you?