I hide from it no more
as I gather up the trash laid bare before me,
buried in the rubble of my old bones.
Hugging, holding, loving,
finally accepting and seeing truth
as all dissolves in the light of one passing,
and all I thought to be real
exists no longer, and through love
a new reality emerges.
New yet ancient,
and all my fears existed not.
If only I’d known to flip the coin
and behold the other side
but that was further than my reach,
as the voices of masses grew loud
and years ticked by like the second hand on a big round clock.
Alive dead reborn, alive dead born
it was all the same as misery
The decision to awaken always there
as we flailed in the dark
not knowing how or why
or even that a light switch was so near.
I felt a great sense of relief today when I remembered that the answers I seek are not out there. And it only takes an instant, a moment of holy realisation to drop the search and shift the focus.
No amount of perseverance, no job, no special love, no war won, no goal reached will bring me the feelings that I seek. Because what I seek doesn’t live out there. Out there is the mirror for which I can grasp at and reach to all I like, but I cannot bring it nearer.
I must stop clutching at hollow reflections and start sinking back into their source. And that source is me. It’s all of us, yet we cannot do it for another. We must do it for ourselves.
We must cease to judge and silence our condemnations, and turn ourselves around instead, all of the way, until all that we see are ourselves.
To deeply see ourselves are where the riches lie. But they don’t appear as riches as we might have hoped. For all we seek is hidden under a veil of pain, anguish and despair. But it is there. And it is worth it. Do not be fooled by the layering upon layering of mud, each one serving only to distract us, urging us to glare outwardly once more.
Do not be so easily perturbed and tricked into outward expression of inner pain. Sink deeper, well below the smokescreen we’ve built to hide what we’ve forgotten was ever there at all.
Sink deeper friend and so shall I. And if one of us forgets and peers outward for a moment, remind me kindly, for that which I seek is for me to find and always within reach.
For it never really left and lives patiently within.