An exercise in Self Love.

Every now and then I call out to all the cells in my body. I sing out to the trillions of cells housed within my body, keeping me alive, and I speak to them. You might think I’m a little crazy but it’s a wild concept to think about. We’re not an individual unit, a single. We’re a collective. And we seem to sit at the top over looking yet not seeing what’s really going on.

What do I say to them? You might ask. 

I tell them I love them. I tell them they’re doing a good job and I thank them. I even picture all these little round cells pausing and looking up at me, and then smiling. They like to be appreciated. For many years they were picked on, abused, told they weren’t good enough, that they were ugly and fat. And that wasn’t from other people, that was from the mind at the top of the tower.

For many years I never knew. I never thought about them. How hard they were working even under the rule of a tyrant. But now, as I recognise myself as a collective, as a team, I give them what I always wanted.

Love. Attention. Kindness. Encouragement. Acceptance.

Isn’t that what we all want?

gratitude-self-love-cells-heal-healing-heal-your-body-happy-how-to-be-happy-happiness-life-love

Yet so often, we can’t even give that to ourselves. We strive hard to get it from other people yet it always falls short. It never satisfies and we mostly don’t believe it anyway cause it doesn’t match up to our own secret thoughts about ourselves.

But the gold at the end of the rainbow is in knowing we can do it for ourselves. We can stop everything right in this moment and say; I love you, thank you. We can ignite a vibrational shift within our being, into one that is more pleasant to inhabit. But we’ve got to stop thinking it’s out there. We’ve got to stop seeking external gratification, praise and validation, and seek the internal gold.

Or as my wise fellow blogger said; our inner sunshine.

And if you think you don’t know how, or it’s not important I beg to differ. Our ability to love ourselves defines our capacity to give and receive love to others. And if you can’t love yourself or others, and you can’t receive love, then I ask you; what is your purpose for life?

For me it’s all about love. It’s learning how to connect in and be with yourself, and to connect with other people. It’s all a big lesson in thinking we’re separate, and then discovering how to come back to the whole. Discovering we’re One.

And I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying it’s important. It’s worthy of our thoughts, attention, focus and effort. It’s worthy enough to ask for help from others, to discuss with friends, to read books about. It’s a truly worthy cause because the cause is you. It’s all of us. And I know we can do it.

I know we can turn our inner hell of judgement, fear and criticism into our own sacred sanctuary, one to be cherished and relished and adored. One we delight in inhabiting, and sink into it’s welcoming company when all goes quiet around us.

By Sharon Cavill

 

 

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The Most Powerful Method To Love Yourself

amazing photography, personal development, life, love, self love, hate, how to, help
How do you feel about yourself most of the time? Do you encourage and support yourself? Or are you the first to tell yourself that you’re stupid, or hopeless, or that no-one likes you, or you can’t do anything?

And if you’re the latter – which most people are – it’s okay. That’s all a learned behaviour and it can be unlearned.

It’s just that something happened in our past where we made a decision that we weren’t good enough, or that we were unlovable, or don’t deserve to be loved.

Just because you think these things doesn’t make them true.

And when life gets tough, it’s out limiting thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that rear their ugly head and bring us down.

And that’s why I’m writing this, because you can turn it around. We all can. And it starts with observing our relationship with love.

Do you get frustrated and annoyed with people? Do you find it easy to hate?

Then how can you really expect to be able to love yourself when you’re constantly practicing the opposite?

That’s when it’s time to call in the love!

self love, selfimprovement, personal development, love, life, help

And it’s actually easier than you might think to start loving yourself, but the key is to learn to love more in general.

You learn how to do that then it’ll be easy to direct some of that love towards yourself. And once that channel of love is created, more and more will flow through it until one day you’ll forget that self love and self doubt was ever a problem for you.

Sound nice?

Let’s start with the first realisation.

Love is a skill, it’s something that can be improved upon, grown, expanded, and strengthened. Especially when it comes to loving ourselves. The key to learning how to love yourself is in learning how to love, and that means learning how to love anything and everything.

Love the chair that you sit upon.

Love your computer.

Go outside and find things you can love out there.

Love the trees. Love each tree.

Love the grass, love every blade of grass.

Grow love. Practice love.

national geographic, amazing photography, life, love, personal development, blog,

Take 1 minute now to list 10 things you love right now. Start small and simple. We know you love your family, your partner, your kids. But this is an exercise to start loving everything (and in turn loving yourself), so start with other things.

Practice loving things you might not normally associate love with.

Love indiscriminately.

Grow Love. Practice Love.

Don’t get to yourself yet, just start with this simple exercise for a few days and see what comes up.

Is it hard? Is it easy?

How do you feel when you do it?

 

Have fun love-generating souls,

until we meet again,

Sharon

 

The Big Blocker of Happiness

selfhelp, personal development, help, how to, guilt, whyThere’s something so strong that keeps us stuck in the reality of illusion, pain and struggle.

It holds us to our painful past and prevents us from seeing who we really are and becoming all that we can be.

The big blocker of happiness, keeping us trapped in a painful, hateful and hurtful world is…

GUILT

and it is completely superfluous.

We trick ourselves into thinking GUILT serves a purpose. In that feeling guilty helps us to learn from past mistakes, and prevents us from becoming an outrageous person with no regard or compassion for others.

But really?

When you question the validity of guilt, does it really do these things?

Or does it just make us feel bad. Feel lesser than, not equal to, wrong, terrible, evil.

And when we feel lesser than and crap what do we do from that place?

Do we spring out of bed, buy flowers for our neighbour, connect with our friends, speak up for ourselves at work, dream up a new goal to aim for?

No, we contract and hide away from the world.

Slinking like a shunned creature hiding in a back alley.

It’s purposeless and pointless. And makes us feel bad. We learn our lessons anyway, we don’t need to rub our noses in it.

So if not guilt, then what?

Compassion.

Toward yourself and others.

If you realise that you said or did something (or even just thought something) that may’ve hurt yourself or another, acknowledge it to yourself (and potentially the other person involved) then let it go.

A helpful method of letting it go is to do some self enquiry with compassion (and that’s the important C-word). Ponder for a moment why you might have done/said/thought what you did, and then go even deeper.

What was going on for you at that time, deep within?

Maybe you were wanting attention, or feeling unloved, or deep down you were really calling out a desperate cry for love.

Then tell yourself that you’re okay. Because you are. We all are. And we all do/say/think mean, stupid things….It doesn’t mean that you’re evil, horrible, or stupid.

It’s part of being human.

We all have those same thoughts, we all say things and even think things that we don’t really mean. And you know what? They don’t actually mean anything. They’re not true. They’re not who you really are.

Kindly let it go and move on. Trust that you’ve learnt all you’ve needed and connect back into your heart.

Recognise you are a divine being of love even though sometimes you might feel like you’re hiding your inner evil bitch. Just because you (and everyone else in the world, including me) have certain thoughts or feelings, or say things that are mean, doesn’t actually mean that’s who you are.

 

 

 

How to feel better about yourself

how to be happy, guilt, help, love, life, lifestyle, acceptance. radical, selfhelpParadoxes never ceases to amaze me. Our world is full of them and when I find another one I feel like I have figured out the next clue to help me navigate through this game of life.

The latest paradox I have been reflecting upon is how we constantly judge and define all the ways in which other people are different to us. But it is not just that we do this, the paradox lies in why we do this. Usually we judge how other people are different to us in an attempt to feel better about ourselves. (Whether we consciously recognise this or not is another story).

The paradox of it all is that it is through sameness and recognition of how we are alike that we can genuinely feel better.

It is through Oneness and through healing our feelings of separation that we can finally know who we really are. Through understanding who we are we can then love and accept ourselves wildly in every moment.

And that is how we can feel better. That is how we can feel so good that we can experience a life full of peace, joy and happiness. And love. Unfiltered, overflowing love. But it all starts within. Once we feel good about ourselves then we cease needing to judge others because we understand and accept them. This doesn’t mean condoning but it also means not condemning. Through wild self love and unreasonable self acceptance we cease needing to judge others at all. Because we no longer judge ourselves.

A little exercise in feeling better:

Close your eyes and let your mind wander to all the people who frustrate you, or who you deem to be nothing like you. C’mon, you know who they are. Let images or thoughts of anyone and everyone come into your mind. As they start appearing repeat the following statement:

I love and accept all of me. I love and accept all of me. I love and accept all of me.

How do you feel about these people now?

How do you feel about yourself?

7 Days of Loving Life, Day 1

positive thinking, shift, life, love, happiness, joyIn working with gratitude my way, I am inspired to write ‘what I love about my life’ lists right here on this blog, for 7 days.

I am choosing 7 days because I know this is enough to create a shift within my mind to one of love, joy and positivity, and to be able to instill a practice of noticing all that is good and great in my life! Also, it is an easy amount of time to commit to, and offers a short time to be able to reflect upon any shifts that I experience over this period. I am intrigued to find out – when doing this exercise by using automatic writing, writing without thinking too much, what comes out and how this changes the more I write these lists.

What would it take for you to join in, and write a small paragraph or list each day, for 7 days?

And, in the true essence of loving life and loving yourself, these do not need to be written over 7 consecutive days! Let’s be kind to ourselves, and just do the best we can.

Day 1. Loving Life

I love that I have time to read and do cards each morning, and I love that I can feel connected to what is really important to me first thing in the morning.
I love that I can see the morning sky from my windows. I love that I can feel love within me, and that I love all the aspects of my life. I love the potential of what each day can bring and that each day holds feelings of excitement and joy.
I love that I have deep connections with people and that I feel joy and my love for them when they are around, or even just when I think about them.
I love that I have been letting go of holding external goals for my life and I love that I have discovered that I can feel fulfillment right now.
I love the desk that I have set up to write right by the window, and I love that I have created the time in my life to do the things I enjoy.

What do you love about your life right now?

What Are You Hiding?

be beautiful, thich nhat hanh, self-acceptance Aren’t you tired of still trying to fit in? I know – I’m clearly not talking to you, of course you don’t care what anybody else thinks of you…… Don’t worry though, you’re not alone. Most of us still want to be liked and accepted by those around us – we just don’t say it to each other, or dare let anyone else know.

I wonder what would happen if we all just let go of any desire to be liked or accepted, and I mean really let it go? If we no longer even had an inkling of a thought that someone else might not like us – or like us. It’s all the same really. Imagine, not having even a single thought about what your parents, sisters, friends, or even strangers thought of you. What would you be like then?

How different might your life be? What would you be doing? What new hobbies do you think you’d take up? How would you dress? How would you speak? What would you do for work?

Let’s drop the veil and reveal our true selves to the world!

And you know what? We all might actually become a lot more inspired by the people around us, instead of going along with the idea that there is even one single person who knows what the hell they are doing!

Most Amazing Dream

Love, dreams, oneness, consciousness, happinessLast night I had what I term a Spirit Dream. This is a dream that feels very different to other dreams, a dream that is more vivid and one which offers a clear message and purpose. Spirit Dreams come to teach me a lesson or to offer me a fresh perspective. And I always remember Spirit Dreams very easily.

In my dream last night all the people from each aspect of my life were telling me they love me. Everywhere I went each person I encountered said the same thing, I love you. And each one expressed their message with feeling, depth and with no other motive than to ensure I realised how loved I really am.

Friends, family, colleagues and even strangers on the street were all saying it, and they were expressing it in different ways. Some were saying it verbally, some were sending loving energy to me, and some were even writing it on little pieces of paper that I could pick up and read.

In this space I really felt it too.

I gained a minute inkling of insight into just how loved we all really are.

This dream was also significant because I was only receiving love. I didn’t say a word to anyone the entire dream. I just received love. I let myself be loved.

Upon waking I bathed in the warmth of the world, and felt a deep connection to people.

We are all loved by each and every soul we have ever encountered and will ever encounter. We are loved by people whom we never even meet.

And this doesn’t always mean they will know it, or that we will know it, and it doesn’t mean that they will express it in anyway, and but they don’t have to. When we are connected to the deepest or highest aspect of ourselves; our soul, we know it. Our soul is our inner lightness usually hidden within us under limiting beliefs that we may hold about ourselves and the world. When you can connect into your soul you can experience this knowing. The knowing that we are all loved.

Close your eyes and breathe deeply into your chest. Breathe in until you feel your body soften. Say the word love in your mind. Breathe in while you say this word. Feel it, experience it. On your out breath say the word open. Love, open, love, open.

Next invite in people from your life, you may visualise them or you may just intend them to be there. Hear them expressing their love to you, let them say it without looking away and without saying anything in return.

Receive their love.

Continue to invite in people from your life. Hear their love, feel their love.

Open up to let love in.

Do You Say Yes When You Really Mean No?

Self-love, Self-acceptance, how to, Life coach,Do you find yourself saying yes a lot, and then in the not too distant future resenting the person or the situation you said yes to?

Do you try to avoid certain people or situations because you are worried you’ll agree to something that you don’t really want to do?

So why is it that we say yes when we mean no?

Usually this stems from a deeper need to be liked and accepted by others. We cannot fathom upsetting someone by saying no to them because this may cause them to not like us and reject us. Don’t worry if this is you, because you’re certainly not alone; and awareness of the self is one of the fast tracks to change – deep, profound and lasting change.

If we dig a little deeper an incessant need to be liked and accepted usually comes from not feeling good enough, which is really a lack of self-love and self-acceptance and approval. We constantly run around chasing our tails, seeking acceptance and approval from external sources, and are usually left feeling unsatisfied afterward. This is because we think we need the approval from others, we think this will make us feel loved, wanted and feeling as though we belong. Only it actually leaves us feeling the same desire and insatiable need to be liked and accepted the very next day – or even the very next conversation we have. The need to be liked and accepted never gets satisfied this way.

And you know why?

We’re looking in the wrong direction.

If you want to continue looking outside yourself for love, approval and acceptance then the only place to look is in the mirror.

A simple and powerful technique to get you going on the track to saying no when you mean no, is the realisation that when you say no to another person you actually are still saying yes.

You are saying YES to YOU!

This means that if you realise you are saying yes to someone else, and it’s really a no to you then this is your big opportunity to turn the tables! Say no to them and YES to YOU!

Feel the YES to YOU as you’re saying no to them. Even say YES to yourself in your head while you’re still having the conversation with them to really reinforce your self-acceptance and support.

This will get easier the more you do it.

Know that when you can say YES to YOU you are saying that you love yourself enough, and you value yourself enough to say YES to YOU. And nine times out of ten the other person will actually feel your self-love and really value your response. They may even appreciate your honesty and respect you for speaking up! And even if they don’t it doesn’t matter, because you have given yourself the BIG tick of approval, so what the other person thinks, feels, and says is no longer affecting you in the same way that it has in the past.

So next time you feel yourself agreeing to something you don’t really want, stop and ask yourself what YOU want. Ask yourself who are you saying yes to.

It’s always gotta be a YES to YOU!

Free Yourself From Fear, Doubt & Self-Criticism

cute cat, fears, release, energy, confidence, creativity, loveI have a simple technique that allows all of my fears, worries, doubts, self-criticism and concerns to fall away. This simple technique is my answer to everything. I can tell you the word, the name I give it; but it is all about experiencing it for yourself. Words mean nothing by themselves. Labels are just a jumble of symbols placed in an order. There is nothing if there is no experience, no feeling, no personal meaning behind the symbols.

But I will still share with you what it is for me, and offer an explanation of the meaning in my experience.

The answer is Oneness. Oneness is remembering that I am not separate from you and that you cannot help but love me because I am you, and you are me. Even if you speak harshly to me, I know that is no different to when I speak harshly to myself. I know that under all of the words, the frustrations, the judgements that you love me. And that I love me.

When I remember this I feel safe. When I remember this I feel supported and encouraged to express myself because I know you have my back. I know even if you criticise me you are just speaking from your fears and doubts and worries. I know that deep down you just want the best for me, because that is what you want for you.

When I remember there is no separation I can do anything.

Want Something? Just Ask!

How many times have you wanted something but never asked for it? Possibly you have thought the other person involved should already know, or maybe you were waiting to be noticed?

Brave, Success, Achieve, Dream, InspireHave you wanted something from your partner but you have wanted them to just know this – without you telling them? Or have you wanted something at work, such as a raise or promotion but you haven’t ever actually asked for it? Or have you been confused about your direction in life or why something keeps reoccurring for you, but you have never sat quietly, gone inward and asked yourself – asked your own inner knowing?

Now is the time to stop waiting around hoping someone will notice you and give you what you want.

Notice yourself! Do this for you and speak up on your own behalf.

Most likely the other people involved would be happy to help you achieve what you want and yes, sometimes it can seem so obvious that you would want this from your perspective, but maybe it hasn’t been so obvious for them. What if you could be only a few little words away from getting what you really want? Not to mention opening up clearer channels of communication in your relationships.

So go on, be brave and just ask!