An exercise in Self Love.

Every now and then I call out to all the cells in my body. I sing out to the trillions of cells housed within my body, keeping me alive, and I speak to them. You might think I’m a little crazy but it’s a wild concept to think about. We’re not an individual unit, a single. We’re a collective. And we seem to sit at the top over looking yet not seeing what’s really going on.

What do I say to them? You might ask. 

I tell them I love them. I tell them they’re doing a good job and I thank them. I even picture all these little round cells pausing and looking up at me, and then smiling. They like to be appreciated. For many years they were picked on, abused, told they weren’t good enough, that they were ugly and fat. And that wasn’t from other people, that was from the mind at the top of the tower.

For many years I never knew. I never thought about them. How hard they were working even under the rule of a tyrant. But now, as I recognise myself as a collective, as a team, I give them what I always wanted.

Love. Attention. Kindness. Encouragement. Acceptance.

Isn’t that what we all want?

gratitude-self-love-cells-heal-healing-heal-your-body-happy-how-to-be-happy-happiness-life-love

Yet so often, we can’t even give that to ourselves. We strive hard to get it from other people yet it always falls short. It never satisfies and we mostly don’t believe it anyway cause it doesn’t match up to our own secret thoughts about ourselves.

But the gold at the end of the rainbow is in knowing we can do it for ourselves. We can stop everything right in this moment and say; I love you, thank you. We can ignite a vibrational shift within our being, into one that is more pleasant to inhabit. But we’ve got to stop thinking it’s out there. We’ve got to stop seeking external gratification, praise and validation, and seek the internal gold.

Or as my wise fellow blogger said; our inner sunshine.

And if you think you don’t know how, or it’s not important I beg to differ. Our ability to love ourselves defines our capacity to give and receive love to others. And if you can’t love yourself or others, and you can’t receive love, then I ask you; what is your purpose for life?

For me it’s all about love. It’s learning how to connect in and be with yourself, and to connect with other people. It’s all a big lesson in thinking we’re separate, and then discovering how to come back to the whole. Discovering we’re One.

And I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying it’s important. It’s worthy of our thoughts, attention, focus and effort. It’s worthy enough to ask for help from others, to discuss with friends, to read books about. It’s a truly worthy cause because the cause is you. It’s all of us. And I know we can do it.

I know we can turn our inner hell of judgement, fear and criticism into our own sacred sanctuary, one to be cherished and relished and adored. One we delight in inhabiting, and sink into it’s welcoming company when all goes quiet around us.

By Sharon Cavill

 

 

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To Give The Greatest Gift

mindfulness, connection, heart, love, how to be present, giving, gift, free, life

A gift free and readily available, yet so infrequently given.

The gift of our full attention to another person.

To not merely be in attendance with our physical body.

To give a gift of the heart.

It is free. It is always in stock and available to give.

You might say this gift of attention, is to give the whole world to one person.

A chance offering to each person you encounter throughout your day.

What could be more purposeful than that?

 

 

A Lesson From Pushy Patrons

blog, awakening, eckhart tolle, life lessons, ego mind, cafe, ocean, consciousOur interactions with people can be our greatest teachers. And yesterday I was taught a big lesson. I’d taken myself off to a cafe to treat myself to some sacred ‘me time’ with a muffin, tea and a book. I sat on a high table which permitted me a clear view of other patrons in the cafe as well as out to the ocean. It was perfect.

However it wasn’t long until my perfect scenario was quashed. I’d sat at the big centre table which was shared by other people. I was seated in the middle and along came three people who sat opposite me, completely obstructing my view to the ocean.

I became a little peeved, however decided it was time to order. I got up, leaving my book and jacket to mind my spot, and went to order at the counter. Once ordered I strolled back to where I’d been sitting only to find one of the three people had actually moved to a seat that was literally pushed up against mine. There was hardly any room for me now and I felt a little strange that they had done this when I’d gone up to order. I felt like they were crowding me on purpose to push me out. My mind was firing off all sorts of scenarios.

I pushed back (obviously in reactive ego-state) and re-claimed my seat. My arm was literally touching his and I felt his big energy dominating mine. Now I was definitely peeved. If I moved my chair further away from him I would literally be pushed up against a pole and have all my table space taken away with the pole and vase which was on the table. And that wasn’t even the point. I was there first.

After a few uncomfortable minutes I decided I would move, as it dawned on me that I was choosing to stay in a situation that was impeding my enjoyment. It took a lot for me to move, but I did so. Staring down at the table stewing in my own thoughts, I waited for the intruders to apologise, or at least offer a sympathetic smile. No such luck. In fact it was quite the opposite, the man moved and spread out even more, enjoying the extra space he’d gained.

Sitting with nothing but my own thoughts, I breathed. I took stock of what was going on and I remembered an enlightening idea from Eckhart Tolle that teaches us the purpose of relationships (which could be interpreted as all interactions with other people) as being to become conscious. Not for fulfillment, happiness, joy, etc. The only true purpose to seek in relationships is to help highlight areas within ourselves that we are asleep and unconsciously reacting, and then it is our job to bring these areas into the light of our conscious awareness.

That is the function of a conscious relationship.

As I looked up to reflect upon the lesson, I noticed how in moving to the other side of the pole, I again had a view of the ocean. There were also stunning flowers sprouting from the vase on the table which perfectly framed my view. It was beautiful.

It dawned on me that the place where I now sat was ideal, in fact it was more than ideal than what I had chosen for myself moments earlier, and the universe had gifted it to me. I had nearly missed it due to my unwillingness to look past what my ego thought was happening.

The universe had guided me to move places through an interaction with other people, and what it presented to me was something better than what I had chosen for myself (along with the lesson).

This is life. That’s the way the universe works. However, we limit ourselves by attempting to control our lives from the narrow view-point of our own perspective.

If only we would surrender control and resistence to reality, then we could walk with greater ease into potentially a better experience than one we might have envisaged for ourselves.

 

 

A Question of Awakening.

I hide from it no more poem-spiritual-awakening-death-reborn-life-healing, self healing, blog, love
as I gather up the trash laid bare before me,
buried in the rubble of my old bones.

Hugging, holding, loving,
finally accepting and seeing truth
as all dissolves in the light of one passing,
and all I thought to be real
exists no longer, and through love
a new reality emerges.

New yet ancient,
and all my fears existed not.
If only I’d known to flip the coin
and behold the other side
as truth
but that was further than my reach,
as the voices of masses grew loud
and years ticked by like the second hand on a big round clock.

Alive dead reborn, alive dead born
it was all the same as misery
entrenched us.
The decision to awaken always there
as we flailed in the dark
not knowing how or why
or even that a light switch was so near.

By Sharon C

 

The night I met me.

Last night in meditation I was bestowed a missing link I’d been overlooking in my healing journey to self love.

The setting was a tranquil lagoon in which I was guided to witness something significant from my recent past. As I gazed down into the water I saw myself rising upward. Yep me, appearing exactly as I do today, however I viewed myself from a different perspective. It was from the eyes of others, and I felt the urge to meet myself and hang out with myself just like you would a new friend.

Realisation after realisation poured through me and I was offered the understanding that loving yourself has an undercurrent that can often be overlooked. The missing facet being that you might love yourself but not necessarily like yourself. For example; you can love members of your family but not want to spend every living moment with them, or similarly a friend that you only enjoy seeing now and again but you love dearly.

The meeting of myself was about liking myself. And I mean really liking myself. self-love-acceptance-awakening-healing-heal-how to, relationships

It was uncharted territory where I befriended myself. I saw who I was as a friend and I liked her.

We hung out and met on so many levels – probably because she is me. But it was like meeting my ultimate soulmate; we enjoyed all the same things!

I saw us hanging out together in my house. I saw us at the beach. I saw us laughing and getting each others jokes. A lot of time passed in an enlightening and blissful meditative trance where time held no meaning, and it was as though I’d been reunitied with my long lost best friend.

And I really, really liked her!

And that was the main realisation, I’d been working on self love for some time now, but forgot about self like. I’d forgotten to like myself in each moment and remember that I want to hang out with me and I enjoy being around me.

If you’ve read this far, then it might be time to ask yourself honestly – if you like you. Do you feel the same about yourself, just like you would a best friend that you can’t see enough of, or your partner whom you adore and always want to be around?

If the answer is no, don’t despair. You’re on the path to healing because you’re beginning to understand where you stand right now. Ask the angels or your spirit guide for assistance, request that they show you how loved you really are. And then ask them to help you discover how to befriend you.

Because when it comes down to it, you’re the one you spend literally all of your time with.

With love,

Sharon

 

 

 

Heal Your Body Issues

 

woman-love-body-heal-your-body-healing-self-love-divine-goddess-power

I had an interesting experience of realisation in the bath yesterday. Yes I know…The bath 🙂 I’ve put on a few kg’s recently and as I looked at my belly and legs it would have been easy to slip into old habits of abusive thoughts – so fat, gross, disgusting.

But instead I looked at all my jiggly parts and told each of them how much I loved them.  I repeated it over and over again. And as I did this, I started to see my body in a completely different light.

I saw it as strong. I saw the extra weight as a reflection of my increased trust in awakening and revealing my personal power to the world. I felt proud of my body and my strength as a woman.

Then I had a glimpse of a possible future for myself and all sisters around the globe. I saw what is viewed in societal eyes as attractive in a woman changing from slim, to bigger. I know we like to think that we’re there already, but c’mon, we’re not. There’s still so much media influence on what’s attractive and for years now – it’s been the slim and slender female figure that’s been projected as alluring. To the point that most women are disgusted by their bodies and view them as anything other than alluring.

Yet I could see it going hand in hand, with the rise of the feminine, comes the rise of women expressing their divine power to the world. It comes the total love and admiration of our bodies – by us! Wholly embracing our lustrous curves and soft centres.

And then the echo occurs. We’ve allowed this picture to be perpetuated and we’ve certainly played our part in taking that further. We don’t need to be worried about others berating our bodies because we’ve already been doing it. But I say, that’s enough! Now is the time to ride the wave of change and it starts with our own secret views of ourselves. That’s where the true change starts. That’s where your power lies.

I see a future where women want their bodies to reflect their inner strength, where they no longer want to play a submissive role in order to be accepted as female or let a man feel manly. And it’s through this avenue of powerful love that all will follow suit, but it’s up to us to lead the way.

Let’s stop getting angry at the magazines that portray unrealistic figures and start getting fed up and fired up at how we demand these unrealistic, made up ideals onto ourselves.

And we do it all the time! Walking past a window, glancing over to check your reflection, oh I’m disgusting, I’m so fat, I’m so ugly. That’s where the real atrocity lies! That we do it to ourselves! It’s not them, it’s been us for years. And I’ve had enough.

I’m embracing all the wonders of my form and I challenge you to do the same.

Enough is enough.

By Sharon Cavill

 

 

 

 

 

Lucid Dreaming Experiment continues

The Lucid Dreaming experiment continues and although I haven’t woken up in my dreams yet, I’m remembering more details when I wake the following morning. I started my dream journal last week and each morning have written down my dreams.

I feel very far away from actually becoming alert and aware within my dreams, but I think that’s how it works. You think you’ll never do it and then the next time you’re dreaming you consciously have the thought; “I think I’m dreaming!” And you’re away!

Yesterday I received a birthday present that blew me away…. The book “A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming” which comes highly recommended as one of the best books on Lucid Dreaming. I started reading it and already agree; it’s brilliant.

a-field-guide-to-lucid-dreaming-how-to-lucid-dream-awakening-how-to-wake-up-dreaming-dream-meaning, wake up, wellington

 

The main point I’ve taken from the book so far is that you need to do reality checks often. A reality check is simply asking yourself

“Am I dreaming right now?”

at different intervals in your waking state, throughout the day.

Starting this habit apparently is one of the most effective methods of getting you to wake up inside your dream, but questioning it’s validity.

I’ve decided to give it a go even though I feel completely ridiculous doing it. Several times yesterday, even though I knew I was awake I stopped and questioned “Am I dreaming right now? Am I dreaming?”

I went further into it and pondered how you really tell, it’s become an enjoyable exercise, almost like a mini philosophical meditation.

The book also stated that most people have had at least one spontaneous lucid dreaming experience in their life so far. Is that you? Have you had a lucid dream before? What was it like? How did you come to realise you were dreaming, whilst still asleep?

The whole concept fascinates and intrigues me and I’d love to hear about any experiences you’ve had with it.

Am I dreaming right now?

Sharon

PS. I’ve had a hard time categorising this article. Would it be ‘personal development’ or ‘spiritual development’? I went with Personal Development as I suppose there’s nothing particularly spiritual about it – even though I would like to use lucid dreaming for my spiritual development.

 

 

After many years, I finally said I’m sorry.

Last night as I walked up my street I noticed I could feel the muscles in my legs with each step. As I paid attention I felt as though it was my body was calling out to me, and due to my calm state, I’d heard it’s call.

And what I experienced next was a sort of homecoming.

In a flash I remembered all of the years of abuse – verbal abuse – I’d spewed forth directed at my body. Years of hating it, standing in front of the mirror disgusted. Waves of negative energy poured into it, without reprieve, and from me no less.

These days the concept sounds absurd, however I did it for so long that the experiences are etched into my brain. I’ve done a lot of work on learning to accept myself, and some time after that I actually started to love myself. All of myself.

And these days I can even place my hands on my soft belly, and feel warmth and love.

And as I continued walking along the street, deeply aware of my body and our colourful past, I felt compelled to take our reconciliation further.

That’s when I started to say; I’m sorry. From the depths of my heart, I’m sorry. Over and over again.

And almost in the same breath, I heard myself saying I forgive you. Thank you. I forgive you. I love you.

self-love-moon-goddess-art-print-art-by-regina-lord, self love, forgiveness, say i'm sorry

I was seeing my beautiful body for the wonderful vessel that it was. I saw my body as a wonderous creature who’d been assigned the task of housing my Spirit, to embark on this journey together.

I felt the insanity of hating on it for all of those years. 

It’s fascinating what compels us to writhe in such hate. And I’m not only referring to our ability to hate ourselves, it’s our ability to hate strangers, people, just anyone and anything can get us worked up to rage.

And we all seem to condone it. We attack haters with more hate and feel justified in doing so.

It makes me wonder, what will it take for us to respond to hate with love? 

Cos’ it seems to me that all of the hating isn’t getting us anywhere, and someone has to go first.

There is a well of love inside each of us, yet we cover it up with thick layers of hate. And any time we dip into our hate-layers, we strengthen them. It doesn’t matter where or to whom our anger is directed, we strengthen it.

Well I’m no longer strengthening mine, ever… For anyone.

It was through that beautiful experience of finally apologising for the years of abuse and being forgiven that I’ve been able to reach new depths of love and self-acceptance. It’s as though part of me was waiting for this day, and I finally showed up for it.

Do you have someone you need to say I’m sorry to?

I love you.

Sharon

“It is a radical act of love to befriend yourself.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

What’s your life purpose?

 

Seriously, that question has done my head in for most of my life. And it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started to question the whole idea as just that – an idea.

I’d always assumed it was a fact – that each of us have a life’s purpose and when we found it we’d feel fulfilled and happy.life purpose, what is my life purpose, help, love, life, blog, funny, be happy

If only I could find the darn thing!

Throughout my colourful employment history I’ve made many decisions in a response to that question of what is my life’s purpose. I’ve resigned from so many jobs under the depressive thought; ‘surely this can’t be it, this is not my life’s purpose!’

I’ve also embarked on courses and taken jobs all in the hopes that they would fulfill the deep longing, and even deeper more hidden fear that something was missing from my life.

But what I’ve come to realise is the whole idea of your life’s purpose and all the promises wrapped up in those words, is very much like the idea of meeting Mr Right.

When we were young we watched movies and read stories, and basically were instilled with the idea that there was a Mr Right out there (or a Mrs Right) who we’d bump into one day and they’d make everything better. And they’d be perfect. The meeting would be a dream, they would of course sweep me off my feet, and we’d fall instantly in love. There’d never be a drama, bicker or fight, and our life together be everything we’d ever hoped it would – of course, because of them and our picture perfect life together.

However as we grow up (and sometimes out) we come to know love and life aren’t like that. Yes, we can fall in love and even sometimes with the man or woman of our dreams, but often we’re quick to realise that doesn’t mean that they’re perfect. And we’ve also come to realise that we’re not perfect either. And that’s okay.

The issue I’ve found though, is that we haven’t crossed this line of thinking over to other areas, and we haven’t updated our romantic view of our life’s purpose. We still chase the life purpose carrot dangling out, always in front of us and just a little out of reach, that’s going to fix everything and make it all better.

And we’re usually swamped with a barrage of happy faces under facebook posts, and screaming websites of people telling us they’ve found their life purpose and now are living a magical existence… But what we don’t hear, is how their day to day life is still a struggle, or how they’ve found their life purpose  but still feel under appreciated, or are having issues at home. And what they certainly don’t tell you, is that it wasn’t the magic cure-all they’d always thought it would be. (They usually don’t even admit that to themselves).

And that’s the part I want to talk about. The reality of the matter. Throughout my chopping and changing, and obsessing over life purpose and the meaning of life, I’ve been able to find work that does fulfill me, and that satisfies a deep urge to help other people.

However it’s not what makes me happy. And even when I started doing it, life was still hard. I’d still have major ups and downs, I regularly felt overwhelmed, and I still questioned what was the purpose of all of this! That’s largely because I thought it was supposed to make me happy, and it took me a long time to realise that it never could.

So I invite you to be brave and take a reality check. Have you been searching for your life’s purpose and secretly thinking that it’s your answer – that it’ll bring you the happiness and fulfillment you’ve longed for?

It’s okay. We all have. And many people won’t want to let this idea go, but the sooner we do, the closer we come to experiencing everything we’ve longed for. We’ve just been searching for it in the wrong direction.

And if we’re lucky we’ll find things we love doing in this lifetime and that we’re passionate about, and some of us will even be lucky enough to be able to do these things for a living. But these too, like everything outside of ourselves, aren’t what make us happy. They aren’t even what make us feel fulfilled. We do that for ourselves.

And it’s usually not until you’re in your dream job that you start to have the harsh realisation, that it’s not what makes you happy. If you were unhappy before you found your dream job – or ‘life purpose’ – then you’re still going to be unhappy afterwards too (usually once the honeymoon phase wears off).

But there’s a HUGE upside to this, because it means even if you haven’t figured out what you want to do yet, you can make happiness your goal now, and then the rest will follow much more easily. 

If you start to make happiness and fulfillment your goal today, you’ll experience  more joy, more  confidence, and your interests, dreams and goals may even change. And it’s from that place that you’ll be able to discover more of what you want to do with your days, and your life.life purpose, what is my life purpose, how to be happy, happiness, dalai lama, quote, help

Then your job, or finding your life’s purpose, won’t need to fix you. It won’t be responsible for your
happiness. It won’t be able to disappointment or let you down. And that’s incredibly freeing.

That’s when you really begin to experience the reality of knowing you can do anything, because you already feel good. You’re already happy. You’re not looking for your job or your life purpose to make you happy.

With love and happiness,

Sharon

 

 

 

 

Does Your Life Feel Complicated?

complicated life, help, how to, advice, spiritual, wisdomThe only aspect of life we can truly control is our state of being.

And when we master that, everything else falls into place.

But we complicate our existence. 

Correction…

Ego complicates.

Spirit simplifies.

What areas of your life feels complicated and a mess right now? 

Have you let your ego-mind take the reigns?

Do you have hidden drives clouding your judgement in this area – such as money, self-worth, jealousy, pride?

We always know the way out of our problems, and how to reduce the complications and complexities in our lives. And it’s certainly not through lists of pro’s and con’s, or through deep analysis, or through speaking to people about how annoying and wrong other people are.

It’s through doing nothing. Just stopping everything, pausing from your life, and giving a chance for your heart to speak.

Our deeper knowing is always there, but we just have to get out of our heads to give it a chance to be heard.

spiritual awakening, awakenings, amazing art, spirit, soul, relationships, help, advice
Amazing Painting by Karina Llergo

Call on your Soul to speak to you. It’s language is powerful yet subtle, and it usually doesn’t speak in words. Here’s a quick exercise to help you connect into your own wise inner force.

2 Minute Soul Voice Meditation – 

Shift your focus away from everything and everyone in your life, and move it to your heart. Close your eyes, and keep your focus on your heart beating deeply inside of your chest.

Inhale fully. Let your mind rest, without ‘trying’ to silence it.

Exhale. If your attention has drifted, that’s okay. Bring it back to your heart. Can you feel it beating? Breathe into it.

Breathe out.

Feel for your answers.

The light of your Soul shines within you,

and is waiting to be heard. 

Get quiet and curious,

and listen for her.

With love and quiet whispers,

Sharon