What’s your life purpose?

 

Seriously, that question has done my head in for most of my life. And it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I started to question the whole idea as just that – an idea.

I’d always assumed it was a fact – that each of us have a life’s purpose and when we found it we’d feel fulfilled and happy.life purpose, what is my life purpose, help, love, life, blog, funny, be happy

If only I could find the darn thing!

Throughout my colourful employment history I’ve made many decisions in a response to that question of what is my life’s purpose. I’ve resigned from so many jobs under the depressive thought; ‘surely this can’t be it, this is not my life’s purpose!’

I’ve also embarked on courses and taken jobs all in the hopes that they would fulfill the deep longing, and even deeper more hidden fear that something was missing from my life.

But what I’ve come to realise is the whole idea of your life’s purpose and all the promises wrapped up in those words, is very much like the idea of meeting Mr Right.

When we were young we watched movies and read stories, and basically were instilled with the idea that there was a Mr Right out there (or a Mrs Right) who we’d bump into one day and they’d make everything better. And they’d be perfect. The meeting would be a dream, they would of course sweep me off my feet, and we’d fall instantly in love. There’d never be a drama, bicker or fight, and our life together be everything we’d ever hoped it would – of course, because of them and our picture perfect life together.

However as we grow up (and sometimes out) we come to know love and life aren’t like that. Yes, we can fall in love and even sometimes with the man or woman of our dreams, but often we’re quick to realise that doesn’t mean that they’re perfect. And we’ve also come to realise that we’re not perfect either. And that’s okay.

The issue I’ve found though, is that we haven’t crossed this line of thinking over to other areas, and we haven’t updated our romantic view of our life’s purpose. We still chase the life purpose carrot dangling out, always in front of us and just a little out of reach, that’s going to fix everything and make it all better.

And we’re usually swamped with a barrage of happy faces under facebook posts, and screaming websites of people telling us they’ve found their life purpose and now are living a magical existence… But what we don’t hear, is how their day to day life is still a struggle, or how they’ve found their life purpose  but still feel under appreciated, or are having issues at home. And what they certainly don’t tell you, is that it wasn’t the magic cure-all they’d always thought it would be. (They usually don’t even admit that to themselves).

And that’s the part I want to talk about. The reality of the matter. Throughout my chopping and changing, and obsessing over life purpose and the meaning of life, I’ve been able to find work that does fulfill me, and that satisfies a deep urge to help other people.

However it’s not what makes me happy. And even when I started doing it, life was still hard. I’d still have major ups and downs, I regularly felt overwhelmed, and I still questioned what was the purpose of all of this! That’s largely because I thought it was supposed to make me happy, and it took me a long time to realise that it never could.

So I invite you to be brave and take a reality check. Have you been searching for your life’s purpose and secretly thinking that it’s your answer – that it’ll bring you the happiness and fulfillment you’ve longed for?

It’s okay. We all have. And many people won’t want to let this idea go, but the sooner we do, the closer we come to experiencing everything we’ve longed for. We’ve just been searching for it in the wrong direction.

And if we’re lucky we’ll find things we love doing in this lifetime and that we’re passionate about, and some of us will even be lucky enough to be able to do these things for a living. But these too, like everything outside of ourselves, aren’t what make us happy. They aren’t even what make us feel fulfilled. We do that for ourselves.

And it’s usually not until you’re in your dream job that you start to have the harsh realisation, that it’s not what makes you happy. If you were unhappy before you found your dream job – or ‘life purpose’ – then you’re still going to be unhappy afterwards too (usually once the honeymoon phase wears off).

But there’s a HUGE upside to this, because it means even if you haven’t figured out what you want to do yet, you can make happiness your goal now, and then the rest will follow much more easily. 

If you start to make happiness and fulfillment your goal today, you’ll experience  more joy, more  confidence, and your interests, dreams and goals may even change. And it’s from that place that you’ll be able to discover more of what you want to do with your days, and your life.life purpose, what is my life purpose, how to be happy, happiness, dalai lama, quote, help

Then your job, or finding your life’s purpose, won’t need to fix you. It won’t be responsible for your
happiness. It won’t be able to disappointment or let you down. And that’s incredibly freeing.

That’s when you really begin to experience the reality of knowing you can do anything, because you already feel good. You’re already happy. You’re not looking for your job or your life purpose to make you happy.

With love and happiness,

Sharon

 

 

 

 

What I see in the word Trump.

donald trump, news, politics, love, trump, election, song, healingWhen I see news about Trump, what I actually see is people using him to divide themselves from other human beings – and acting as though it’s him doing it and not them.

I see people using his name to abuse other people, and to be mean, heartless and disconnected, and all the while feeling justified in the cause and effect for which they feel they have played no part.

Let us not be fools walking blindly into the trap woven ever so divinely, so as to be caught in a mirage of yet another reason to separate ourselves from each other. Do not let anyone come between yourself and another, whatever the reason and however justified you feel in doing so.

There was a line from a song I’ll never forget, because it is forever relevant it seems…

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. 

This statement couldn’t be more true, and it’s up to us to uphold. Let go of justification and righteousness for a moment and pull your brothers and sisters closer. Be sure and strong in knowing nothing will get in the way of the grander picture, the truth of reality.

Extend an arm of love to one another and toward ourselves, for it is with compassion and understanding that we stand tall, and not through ridicule – no matter how justified the reason is perceived to be.

With love,

Sharon

 

 

 

Friday Night Revelations

I had the weirdest experience last night in the fish and chip shop, (or fush and chup shop as my fellow Kiwi’s would say), I don’t know if you can relate to  it or not.

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I’d paid for my order and was clutching my little ticket with it’s winning number. I stood off to the side and was watching the ready orders being handed over the counter. I looked over to the line of people waiting to place their orders, and in an instant it was like I was seeing the entire scene from a different perspective.

Each person standing in the line looked so goofy and awkward, their eyes darting around, desperately craving to steal a look at the other people in the shop. Yet equally, or potentially moreso, desperately avoiding eye contact with their fellow humans.

We all looked so hilarious. Going about our business, strapping odd shaped pieces of coloured material over our bodies, so as to reveal a little but not too much skin. We were all so curious about each other, yet avoiding anything that would cause us to engage. amazing photo, flower, spiritual awakening, how to, life, understanding, love, blog, insight, meditation

I felt an out pouring of love for all of us awkward, lumpy human beings going about our business.

I wondered how we missed our cuteness for the majority of the time. We bumble along with our heads down, missing it.

We’re shut down and closed off from each other because we hide what we don’t want others to see or know about us. Yet we’re all the same.

We’re all a mixture of nerves, self-doubt, occasional happiness, fear of rejection, desire for success, swirling loneliness, sickness, fear, hopes, dreams, attempts for love. But we hide this from each other.

We hide our true selves in an attempt to be accepted and validated by each other, yet if only we opened up a little and let go of our need to hide ourselves, then we’d realise just how similar we all really are. 

It’s in the realisation of sameness that’d we’d get to breathe out a combined sigh of relief.

That’s when we’d all get to laugh at the insanity of our pretending, and we’d finally get to know what it’s like to truly be accepted and to fit in.

Within ourselves.

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When we hide what’s going on inside of us, we’re telling ourselves that what we’re feeling, thinking and experiencing isn’t acceptable. We make up a version that we think is more acceptable and we express that to the world. Then we wonder why we’re always left feeling lonely.

I decided there and then to reel in the character I’d had on show for others, and let myself know that I’m okay exactly as I am. We all are. In all of our awkwardness and uncertainly, we’re doing just fine.

It’s okay to laugh at ourselves and to let it be known that we’re all just bumbling along, trying to make the best of things and work out how the hell we can experience a little more joy and a little less stress. love, relationships, spiritual awakening, personal development, blog, life, love

With love from one gloriously awkward creature, to another.

Sharon