one woman's journey to self love and living an awakened life.
I am the biggest creature of habit. As soon as I’ve done something – like gone to a cafe, driven a particular way, or cooked a meal that I like, then I will continue to make it, go there or do that, in the same way for years. It makes me happy because it is familiar and easy. But it’s not true happiness – it’s comfort.
About a month ago I attended a workshop at a beautiful meditation centre in the heart of Wellington. As soon as I walked in I was in love with the room. The place was divine and somewhere within me was a yearning to be the person up the front running the class from that very space.
Thankfully I acted upon this little yearning and almost too easily, after a few calls and an application, things fell into place and it was all set in motion. I was going to hold a class from this venue.
However, almost in the same breath of it being locked in I felt ‘it’. A feeling I know so well, in the pit of my stomach. Fear. What had I done?
I wanted to slink away and hide.
But this time was different. As I felt the usual feeling in my stomach and regret wash over me I invited in a new sense of awareness. I was aware what I was feeling was fear. Just fear. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a feeling.
In that moment I recognised I had two choices. One, to slink back into my comfort zone and not push forward. Or two, to do it anyway. In spite of the fear – or even because of the fear! I recognised that this was something that I really wanted to do and that would it could encourage growth for me BECAUSE of the feeling of fear.
It’s always the things that scare us that bring us the most reward.
So I did it.
And last night my partner and I held a meditation class from this beautiful venue. Now it is not new anymore. I’ve done it. And I’m really looking forward to running it again next week.
I have expanded my circle to include something that was new but that can now sit inside my comfort zone. I’ve expanded my comfort zone! And you know what else I’ve got inside my zone? The knowing, through this new experience, that I can grow and enjoy doing something which scares me.
When was the last time you did something new?
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,'—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
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~ metaphysical musings and personal growth ~