Do You Say Yes When You Really Mean No?

Self-love, Self-acceptance, how to, Life coach,Do you find yourself saying yes a lot, and then in the not too distant future resenting the person or the situation you said yes to?

Do you try to avoid certain people or situations because you are worried you’ll agree to something that you don’t really want to do?

So why is it that we say yes when we mean no?

Usually this stems from a deeper need to be liked and accepted by others. We cannot fathom upsetting someone by saying no to them because this may cause them to not like us and reject us. Don’t worry if this is you, because you’re certainly not alone; and awareness of the self is one of the fast tracks to change – deep, profound and lasting change.

If we dig a little deeper an incessant need to be liked and accepted usually comes from not feeling good enough, which is really a lack of self-love and self-acceptance and approval. We constantly run around chasing our tails, seeking acceptance and approval from external sources, and are usually left feeling unsatisfied afterward. This is because we think we need the approval from others, we think this will make us feel loved, wanted and feeling as though we belong. Only it actually leaves us feeling the same desire and insatiable need to be liked and accepted the very next day – or even the very next conversation we have. The need to be liked and accepted never gets satisfied this way.

And you know why?

We’re looking in the wrong direction.

If you want to continue looking outside yourself for love, approval and acceptance then the only place to look is in the mirror.

A simple and powerful technique to get you going on the track to saying no when you mean no, is the realisation that when you say no to another person you actually are still saying yes.

You are saying YES to YOU!

This means that if you realise you are saying yes to someone else, and it’s really a no to you then this is your big opportunity to turn the tables! Say no to them and YES to YOU!

Feel the YES to YOU as you’re saying no to them. Even say YES to yourself in your head while you’re still having the conversation with them to really reinforce your self-acceptance and support.

This will get easier the more you do it.

Know that when you can say YES to YOU you are saying that you love yourself enough, and you value yourself enough to say YES to YOU. And nine times out of ten the other person will actually feel your self-love and really value your response. They may even appreciate your honesty and respect you for speaking up! And even if they don’t it doesn’t matter, because you have given yourself the BIG tick of approval, so what the other person thinks, feels, and says is no longer affecting you in the same way that it has in the past.

So next time you feel yourself agreeing to something you don’t really want, stop and ask yourself what YOU want. Ask yourself who are you saying yes to.

It’s always gotta be a YES to YOU!


Harnessing Big Energy

Healing, Psychic, Reading, Energy, Action, Life CoachI have been inspired to write this post because so many of my clients (and myself), are experiencing big cosmic energies at the moment. And in times like these it helps to know that you’re not alone, and also to understand just how to get the most out of it!

You may have noticed your energy levels higher over the past few days, and you may have even felt more erratic than usual with loads of ideas about your life, career, and personal projects bursting into your mind.

When you feel a surge in energy like this it is great to enjoy it but to really get the most from it, it is most beneficial to ground it into the physical world.

Some ways to start doing this include brain storming and discussing your ideas with a close friend, business partner or colleague in order to get them out of your head and into your physical reality.

It is also helpful to write them down, even if it’s a big jumbled list to start with, so you get them down and out of your head. Once again this also helps to bring them through into your physical reality and encourages you to get clear about each idea, sorting through what has legs and what doesn’t.

I am a very visual person so I have been using blank A4 sheets of paper to hash out a brief sketch of what is coming through, with a new sheet for every idea. Some ideas end up being big lists, drilling down from the initial brainwave, and others end up becoming diagrams or trees with branches as I detail what each main idea would require.

By now we have been experiencing this energy for a few days so it is important to begin to focus and channel the energy. Decide which ideas excite you the most and place them as your priority; your A list. Then move the rest aside just for now.

Even if the ideas keep flowing, just grab a notebook or save a word document to write them all down in. This way you can clear them out of your mind and know that they are not forgotten. You can come back to this list later on in the year when you require further inspiration and an injection of new ideas and projects.

With those aside move back to your A list and begin to drill down, establishing what action points are required to start bringing your ideas into your physical reality.

And then get to work!

It is fun to play in ‘idea-land’ but it is the next stage that creates your reality and manifests your dreams.

Constantly bring your focus back to ACTION. Harness this big energy by funneling it into one or two main exciting ideas or projects that you want to come into fruition this year. Continue to flesh out your idea and your vision, but ensure you are action-ing it, even in small ways each and everyday.

What are you going to do today to bring your ideas through to your physical reality? What is one action point you can achieve today?

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Everything Is Happening For Me

Abundance, Mindset, How to, Happiness, PositiveEverything is happening FOR me is a powerful concept which helps you to align with the flow of the universe.

It means that you live your life from the perspective that everything that goes on in your reality is exactly what you need in that moment, and that it has something FOR you.

This is very different to believing everything happens TO you. When you think everything is happening TO you it is easy to slip into a victimised mentality in which you feel powerless and defensive.

Everything happening FOR you means that the random person who said hello to you on your walk to work did so as a gift for you that you needed in that precise moment. It means the the number sequence that you keep seeing everywhere does hold significance for you. It means that the person you bumped into who you haven’t seen for years holds a special gift for you.

You feel special and powerful with this mindset, and learn to be a conscious creator of your reality, in total sync with the universe.

When you view the world with everything happening for you, you are empowered; realising that everything is just as it should be even if it might not feel like it at the time. This mindset helps you to know that what is happening right now, even though it might feel bad or hard actually has something FOR you.

When you view a situation from this mindset you are able to see the good and the positive of all situations, you are able to learn from them and grow as a person. Your outlook about your reality and the world moves to be positive and welcoming of everything that happens, because you accept what is happening in the moment and go with the flow knowing it is just as it should be.

This doesn’t mean that you know how or why it is happening, it just means that you know it is exactly as it should be.

A huge example for me was a car accident I was in a little while ago, in which no-one was injured however it ended up costing a lot of money – in fact money which I am still paying off. As the weeks and months past I began to see that being pushed off the proverbial edge with my financial situation actually propelled me to asses and heal my views about money and more specifically heal the beliefs I held which were stemming from lack. It also spurred me on to create further streams of income, learn more about business marketing, and hold higher value of what I do. I can also see that I might not have done any of this if I continued to exist just getting by.

Right through this event I kept coming back to the knowing that this was happening FOR me, even though I couldn’t see how or why at the time. Knowing this offered me the strength I needed to change my life for the better. And that is the clincher, you don’t have to know how or why it is happening for you, you just know that it is. You trust and have faith in your knowing that everything IS happening for you. You don’t need to know the details at the time, because that awareness usually comes further down the track.


Close your eyes for a moment and notice how you feel when you think everything is happening TO you?

Then, do this again, and notice how you feel when you believe everything is happening FOR you?

Which feels better for YOU?

Now, consciously try this out for a day or two. Hold the concept in your mind, and play with it. Experience your life with this knowing and see how you feel, notice how your perspective changes. What do you notice about your experiences that you might not have seen before?


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Anita Moorjani’s Near Death Experience

Anita Moorjani, NDE, Dying, Awakening, EnlightenmentIn this video Anita Moorjani recounts her experience of being so sick with cancer that she was rushed to hospital and went into a coma. She then dies and leaves her body.

Anita shares with us the most incredible experience of what happened when she leaves her body, and how she was able to come back to her life and heal herself completely of the cancer (grade 4 lymphoma) that had increasingly riddled her body over the previous years, in just four days.

Anita also offers profound insights gained regarding the way she had been living her life, and the fears that had accumulated; “I realised I had always been afraid to be who I am”.

There is nothing like dying to inspire your spirit for life!

I have shared this video because I have watched it a whole bunch of times over the past year or so, and every time I feel completely inspired and invigorated for life. And people I have shared it with in that time have also been so moved with some even changing aspects of their lives as a result of her story.

It truly is a miraculous story!

“I knew that was really the only purpose of life: to be our self, live our truth, and be the love that we are.” – Anita Moorjani

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A New Year, A New Phase

Healing, Psychic, New Year, resolutions
Tree of Life by Gilbert Williams

In a recent meditation I received information about the past year and a half, and also about the new year we have just entered; 2014.

The information I received about our recent past pertained mostly to the recognition that this has been a period of healing and clearing. Many people had thought that there was going to be a great shift around December 2012, and I really feel that there was, but not in the way a lot of people had hoped.

Many people had hoped that this shift would be swift and dramatic, and basically that their lives would be considerably better from that moment – or they had thought the world would end… People seemed to be in one of these two camps.

But I have experienced the shift to have been on a more personal level, where the baggage that we have carried and the wounds from our past could no longer stay with us. We have been pushed to confront and heal these old wounds and to cut the cords that attach us to any heaviness from our past.

And now as we flow into this new year we enter a new phase. We enter a phase of ACTION. It is as though we have been preparing ourselves for some time now, and now as we enter this new phase we get to see the results of our healing and of our preparation.

Our direction and intentions will become clear, and we will see the physical manifestations of our dreams and aspirations. Basically this means, any intention that you focus your energy on will manifest in the physical world, and will become your new reality.

In knowing this I recommend focusing on your intentions for this year, because you might just find that these goals are easier to reach than they have ever been. This year will be one of achievement and one in which we soar out of our comfort zones, only to realise that we have a new level of expanded comfort. That which we previously thought scared us, now appears as an enticing challenge, as we really discover what we are capable of.

So get your pens out people and make your wish list, dream as big as you can and visualise the outcomes you desire, because before you know it these will be your reality.

This is YOUR YEAR!